


You're Not Mine

by thegreatficmaster



Series: Supernatural Collection [87]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen, Jealousy, M/M, Reader-Insert, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-03 15:36:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20268658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegreatficmaster/pseuds/thegreatficmaster
Summary: Sometimes, the one you love, loves another.





	You're Not Mine

I hate myself for doing this. 

Why am I letting you affect me?

At first, I didn’t understand. 

Didn’t understand the attraction we had. Didn’t understand the bond.

But I accepted it. 

I accepted that I needed you. 

That I wanted you. 

I think I even loved you.

Well-love. 

I still do.

I remember the soft touch of your lips on mine. 

The intoxicating smell that was you.

Whiskey. Leather. And some strong aftershave.

Your lips were warm against mine, making me feel life for the first time in a while.

But each time I try to reach out for you, you’re not there.

I felt your pain.

Pain of losing your mother. 

Being thrown into hunting. 

Taking care of your brother while having to deal with your father.

Then it all went to hell, as you’d say.

You dragged Sam back into hunting. 

His girlfriend died.

Then it was one thing after the other. And I know you still blame yourself.

You blame yourself for your dad making the deal in the first place. 

You blame yourself for losing him. Losing Sam. 

Going to hell. 

Releasing Lucifer. 

Everything after that, no matter how hard you tried to stop it all, you still blame yourself.

I wish I could take that pain away. 

Wish my touch would heal the cracks in your heart. Your soul. Your mind. Your entire being.

But I know I can’t. Because that role isn’t reserved for me.

I know you felt something, but I wasn’t enough for you. 

So you chose someone else.

For that, Dean Winchester, I’ve tried to hate you. 

But the bond we share, it doesn’t allow that. 

All I can feel is pain.

Pain for not being enough. 

For not being the one you wanted, while I watch you with the one you truly love.

I wish over and over, that you’d tell me to stay. 

That you’d send the other away. 

Take me in your arms and let me love you instead. 

I always needed you with me. 

I needed you to stay.

My whole world, everything I have experienced, was built around you. 

You carried me. 

You made me whole.

You made me see and forgive.

But in the end, our love wasn’t true. 

Not yours, anyway.

It was The Mark. 

The Mark made you feel things for me. 

The bond, it was symbiotic. Parasitic even.

But it hurts me to know that. 

To know that you’d never willingly choose to have feelings for me. 

That the only reason you were so unwilling to harm me, was because of the Mark my brother locked me away with.

I see you with y/n. 

I see your eyes shining, your heart filled with pure love. 

A love purer than any I’ve seen. 

Any my brother has seen too. 

He tells me you were meant to be.

No heavenly intervention. 

You weren’t pushed together, like your mother and father.

No.

You were meant to be.

You share a bond stronger than ours. 

I think that might be why you never fully gave in to me.

I am the most powerful creature in existence.

Archangels feared me. 

Death feared me. 

God feared me.

Yet, the love you hold for a simple human, protected your heart and soul from me.

I feel lost without you. 

You were all I knew. All I wanted once you freed me. 

I don’t know how to be apart from you. 

But I know there will never be an ‘us’.

You’re too in love with y/n. 

It hurts.

There have been times I’ve contemplated destroying y/n’s soul. Ripping it away from you. 

But that’d just hurt you more.

You may not love me, Dean Winchester. But my love for you is strong. 

Strong enough to keep me from betraying my brother. To keep me from destroying his creations.

So all I can do is watch. 

Watch you live your life with y/n, Sam, Castiel and your mother.

Watch you be truly happy with them all. 

The smile on your face each time y/n walks into a room, the racing of your heart, the love that seems to pour out of every cell in your body once you see y/n.

I just wish you’d looked at me like that.

But I know, your heart belongs to y/n. 

I know you are meant to be. And I will let you be together. 

For you deserve happiness, Dean Winchester.

So I just stay, waiting in the dark. 

Seems fitting, for the Darkness. 


End file.
